It still surprises me when the Universe sends me what I need. Today I got a card in the mail from a good friend (hi Rebecca!) and she wrote something just wonderful and really made my day. A terrific validation. Wow. Life is grand!
—>Insert giant grin <—
I decided today to round up all my grungy, partly used notebooks. I'm going to fill them. I'm just going to write and write until the pages are full. No editing. Just dreaming and word play. Like when I was a kid and the EDITOR hadn't arrived yet. Will give you progress updates.
I've been feeling like a wuss the past few days. Annoyed with myself that I don't bounce back from interupted sleep at night. I get annoyed I can't go and go and go, that even though my brain is zooming my physical energy wanes. I get annoyed my time is late at night for complete adult thoughts but by that point my brain is frazzled and unfocused.
I'm trying to let go of expectations that stress me out. The list of I should's. The "if only's ". What is, truly is ok. I'm trying to evaluate what goals are rooted in my growth and which ones are just boring and ego driven. Its hard to tell sometimes.
I daydream about living at the farm. I have things I want to do that push me out of my comfort zone. I'm in a squishy, sort of larval place. The skin I wear lately isn't quite right.
I think I have been feeding my compost. That rich, dark soil that only comes from fermenting strange and seeminly unrelated stuff. Hence, this odd, meandering post.